Boys are really screwing with my head. I am compromising my values to allow men to behave badly. I hear too many stories about girls who never believe the ones they are with are only withe them, and them only. It is a relief to discover there are others, just like they had always suspected. ANd then they live in misery for ever knowing there are others, maybe many more than others.

To me, it is a horrible existance, and i want no part of it. I don't want to change or be changed to suit the taste here. I'm not ok with it.

And even when a guy like Tex tells me straight up that there are others, I am slightly happy that he is being truthful, but I am worried that he is being truthful and I'm not flinching.

That is why I was never sound with Dick, I never believed him to be about me, and in the end he never was. Not because he cheated, but because I cried and cried for someone who was never in love with me.