For four consecutive nights I couldn’t sleep. I had no idea what was wrong with me. I just had a birthday and submitted to the fact that I was getting older and didn’t need sleep anymore. But I knew there was something more keeping me awake and that something lingered on the mind until the sun cracked. By day five I was mentally and physically exhausted. I knew it wasn’t the usual suspects of stress or the like. I knew something was about to happen. It was just a matter of when.
Then on day six it came. An email from my old flame arrived in my inbox. “Maybe a coffee sometime? Entirely up to you. Dx” I haven’t seen Dick for years, barely since we broke up. New lows of heartbreak were reached with this guy. I monitored myself as I read through his email: My breathing was steady, heart rate was fine, I’m not twitching, I might just be over him.
“My boss fired me… I’m going to London,” his email continued. Even though I hadn’t seen him, heard from him, or randomly bumped into him on the dance floor in all this time, I had the comfort of knowing he was still around somewhere. But now he was leaving Hong Kong. And this was our goodbye coffee. The end of an era. “4pm” I replied to his invite.
Without even a check in the mirror, I dashed out the door to meet him. In the elevator I thought, this is what I always used to do. I ran to him, it was never the other way around. I took my pulse to measure my excitement and nervousness. Normal. I started to worry over the fact that I was feeling absolutely nothing. Unlike before.
A month after our breakup I barely ate anything but miyoga. Miyoga is a winter vegetable popular with Japanese housewives who administered this astringent-tasting bud to forget their troubles. I ate it with every meal and got a mild buzz when overdosing. I would then cut my antidepressant with alcohol in the evenings and do it all over again. It was good to remind myself of these things, I thought as I walked to meet him. I was such a mess over him that my friends would scrap me off the floor and throw me on a jet plane whenever Friday rolled around so I could get excited about life again.
I came out of my funk and took away that in Hong Kong, nothing is forever. There were examples everywhere: restaurants/ relationships would open and close in short cycles; great friendships would form and then one party moved away; people were disposable. I became cynical, worst I was a party of one and jaded. It took two years for me to stopped looking at the world with dirt-coloured lenses.
I saw Dick from a block away. He towered above everyone on the street. When we embraced, I remembered how good it was to hug him. His all-enveloping arms felt like a fit. Shit.
Inside The Pawn, loaded with double espressos, we were formal with one another. Switching to gin improved the situation. Seven sips in we’re laughing at his receding hairline and how little sleep I needed as I aged. I told him was thinking of moving house, and he asked if I still lived in the same place, the same building we shared together. “My favourite crazy Hong Kong story I tell people was how you moved into my apartment when you got a hold of my keys,” he said. “You mean I wasn’t supposed to?” I thought to myself. Even though none of this mattered anymore, and as we were discovering our new level of comfort as exes, I couldn’t get myself to ask if me moving to his place was what broke us up.
We kept to nonchallenging topics such as happenings with old friends, family, work and currency trading, but never spoke of our current dating situation. We were happy for eachother’s successes and discussed the future. It was such a miracle that we could get right back into it, as if no time had passed. But time had to past to get us into this place --friendship. “When are you moving to London?” I asked. “Next week, but I’m coming back,” he said. “I’m not leaving Asia. You can’t dispose of me so easily.”
Thursday, June 24, 2010
Friday, June 4, 2010
“Yes the future of humanity will likely have dark hair and dark eyes”
Pew Research Center recently found that nearly half of American-born Asians chose non-Asian spouses. They were record highs.
An offspring of this new world order is the cuisine that we sometime mislabel as fusion. Here is an excerpt of an interview done with the founder of Hapa Kitchen, Akiko Moorman, in New York. She is Hapa (defined as half-white, half-Asian) as well as her menu.
Angie: What is Hapa cuisine?
Akiko: It’s using flavors profiles without the restriction of country of origin or a defined region. Our dishes are not about that dirty word “fusion”.
Angie: fusion-confusion
Akiko: exactly.
Angie: Do you think Hapa is now a recognised cuisine?
Akiko: I believe it encapsulates the immigrant story and is a tangible expression of that. So much of the inspiration for Hapa Kitchen comes from dishes that were created in our multiracial homes
Angie: What would be an example of a Hapa dish?
Akiko: I do an edamame hummus on a fried wonton chip that looks very familiar but tastes very new. I stuff cheese into tofu to make it look like fried mozzarella cheese sticks. I made a cheviche with the wonton chips that looks like salsa
Angie: Can we go through the basics? How did Hapa Kitchen get started?
Akiko: I create a menu that represented every place Obama was from or lived [for a CNN documentary]. I invited as many multiracial friends to help out. The conversations during that meal were amazing…about food, our families and about having a foot in two worlds. It became clear to me that food binds us to both our cultures and I wanted to explore and celebrate that. Everyone I recruited for Hapa Kitchen has an amazing story about something weird that ate as a child. For example, my mother made a soy sauce turkey stuffed with chestnuts for Thanksgiving every year. I thought every American ate this.
Angie: Does most of your menus use Asian and American flavours/ingredients?
Akiko: Yes
Angie: Most of your chefs are Asian and white mix?
Akiko: Almost everyone involved is Hapa. I do have a few Hapa lovers that participate.
Angie: Hapa lovers?
Akiko: People who love Hapas. I also always encourage Hapa makers (multiracial couples!!!).
Angie: Can we talk about race before getting back to the food?
Akiko: Of course
Angie: Tell me what is the mixed-race environment in the US right now?
Akiko: We have a multiracial president. One of the most visible Hapas in the world is in the paper almost every day (Tiger Woods). And for the first time we are being looked at as a community. Growing up, most multiracials felt very isolated. We either hung out with white kids or Asian kids. In Japan, I am 100 per cent considered to be an American. In the US, I am 100 per cent considered to be Asian. I am a perpetual foreigner everywhere I go.
Angie: In Asia we have the added bonus of inner-racism. What are some of the difficulties you face as a Hapa?
Akiko: As a Hapa, I have been asked what color my nipples are 'cuz white girls have pink and yellow girls have brown. In Japan, I am asked why my name is Akiko. In the US I have been told that my English is very good. I make the monoracials do the dishes. I am, like, the most racist person in the room.
Akiko: I think the challenge will be how to celebrate foreignness, without offending
Angie: hmm, try doing that in a former British colony
Akiko: Hapa is one step closer to us being simply, the human race. One thing that Asians like is that ALL their genes are dominant.
Angie: explain
Akiko: dark eyes will prevail with recessive genes
Angie: recessive genes being blue eyed, blonde hair?
Akiko: redheads are the first to go as the lowest occurring marriages are a redhead to a redhead. Then blonds
Angie: are you saying the future human race will be brown eyed and have dark hair?
Akiko: Well, that depends. Genetically there are more dominant genes so that would suggest this, unless northern Europe really ramps up the baby production. Yes the future of humanity will likely have dark hair and dark eyes. What I am super fascinated with is what happens when two Hapa marry
Angie: what happens?
Akiko: Here's the interesting thing about being Hapa. It is single generational. My parents are not Hapa and neither will my children.
Angie: What are your parents?
Akiko: My mother is Japanese. My father is European-American
Angie: Why won't your kids be Hapa?
Akiko: Well, my current boyfriend is a cashew (half catholic, half jew) but even if we have kids, they would not really have the Hapa experience. For example one side of my family only speaks English, the other Japanese. I don't know what it is like to have a big family gathering. My grandparents never met.
Angie: Why do you think the mother is usually Asian, the father White/other?
Akiko: I think Asia is not that awesome for women. I can totally understand why my mother wanted out [as] she was well educated and independent.
Angie: Who did you identify with more growing up? Asian or white?
Akiko: if you look more Asian, you identify with being Asian, if you look whiter, you tend to think more white. I would suggest the red queen theory
Angie: go on..
Akiko: The red queen theory is used to explain things like why there are two sexes. That to stay ahead of bacteria and viruses that mutate and reproduce much faster, our species had to find a way to recombine our DNA to act as a wall, much like what your firewall does for your computer the further distinct the genetics
Angie: in your scenario, who is the bacteria?
Akiko: No, I’m talking about actual bacteria. Mulitracials have better genetic protection from disease. There is an evolutionary value in mixing [races]. On the flipside it is very difficult for multiracialsto find a bone marrow donor.
Akiko: I have been working on what to call the next generation will be called; I've been calling them Quapas. Quapas are a quarter Asian and three-quarters other and wonder if they will feel any connection to being Asian.
Angie: you think the trend would be to go Quapas, but not the other way 3/4 Asian say?
Akiko: Now that would be awesome. I only think that because all the ladies in Hapa Kitchen have white boyfriends.
An offspring of this new world order is the cuisine that we sometime mislabel as fusion. Here is an excerpt of an interview done with the founder of Hapa Kitchen, Akiko Moorman, in New York. She is Hapa (defined as half-white, half-Asian) as well as her menu.
Angie: What is Hapa cuisine?
Akiko: It’s using flavors profiles without the restriction of country of origin or a defined region. Our dishes are not about that dirty word “fusion”.
Angie: fusion-confusion
Akiko: exactly.
Angie: Do you think Hapa is now a recognised cuisine?
Akiko: I believe it encapsulates the immigrant story and is a tangible expression of that. So much of the inspiration for Hapa Kitchen comes from dishes that were created in our multiracial homes
Angie: What would be an example of a Hapa dish?
Akiko: I do an edamame hummus on a fried wonton chip that looks very familiar but tastes very new. I stuff cheese into tofu to make it look like fried mozzarella cheese sticks. I made a cheviche with the wonton chips that looks like salsa
Angie: Can we go through the basics? How did Hapa Kitchen get started?
Akiko: I create a menu that represented every place Obama was from or lived [for a CNN documentary]. I invited as many multiracial friends to help out. The conversations during that meal were amazing…about food, our families and about having a foot in two worlds. It became clear to me that food binds us to both our cultures and I wanted to explore and celebrate that. Everyone I recruited for Hapa Kitchen has an amazing story about something weird that ate as a child. For example, my mother made a soy sauce turkey stuffed with chestnuts for Thanksgiving every year. I thought every American ate this.
Angie: Does most of your menus use Asian and American flavours/ingredients?
Akiko: Yes
Angie: Most of your chefs are Asian and white mix?
Akiko: Almost everyone involved is Hapa. I do have a few Hapa lovers that participate.
Angie: Hapa lovers?
Akiko: People who love Hapas. I also always encourage Hapa makers (multiracial couples!!!).
Angie: Can we talk about race before getting back to the food?
Akiko: Of course
Angie: Tell me what is the mixed-race environment in the US right now?
Akiko: We have a multiracial president. One of the most visible Hapas in the world is in the paper almost every day (Tiger Woods). And for the first time we are being looked at as a community. Growing up, most multiracials felt very isolated. We either hung out with white kids or Asian kids. In Japan, I am 100 per cent considered to be an American. In the US, I am 100 per cent considered to be Asian. I am a perpetual foreigner everywhere I go.
Angie: In Asia we have the added bonus of inner-racism. What are some of the difficulties you face as a Hapa?
Akiko: As a Hapa, I have been asked what color my nipples are 'cuz white girls have pink and yellow girls have brown. In Japan, I am asked why my name is Akiko. In the US I have been told that my English is very good. I make the monoracials do the dishes. I am, like, the most racist person in the room.
Akiko: I think the challenge will be how to celebrate foreignness, without offending
Angie: hmm, try doing that in a former British colony
Akiko: Hapa is one step closer to us being simply, the human race. One thing that Asians like is that ALL their genes are dominant.
Angie: explain
Akiko: dark eyes will prevail with recessive genes
Angie: recessive genes being blue eyed, blonde hair?
Akiko: redheads are the first to go as the lowest occurring marriages are a redhead to a redhead. Then blonds
Angie: are you saying the future human race will be brown eyed and have dark hair?
Akiko: Well, that depends. Genetically there are more dominant genes so that would suggest this, unless northern Europe really ramps up the baby production. Yes the future of humanity will likely have dark hair and dark eyes. What I am super fascinated with is what happens when two Hapa marry
Angie: what happens?
Akiko: Here's the interesting thing about being Hapa. It is single generational. My parents are not Hapa and neither will my children.
Angie: What are your parents?
Akiko: My mother is Japanese. My father is European-American
Angie: Why won't your kids be Hapa?
Akiko: Well, my current boyfriend is a cashew (half catholic, half jew) but even if we have kids, they would not really have the Hapa experience. For example one side of my family only speaks English, the other Japanese. I don't know what it is like to have a big family gathering. My grandparents never met.
Angie: Why do you think the mother is usually Asian, the father White/other?
Akiko: I think Asia is not that awesome for women. I can totally understand why my mother wanted out [as] she was well educated and independent.
Angie: Who did you identify with more growing up? Asian or white?
Akiko: if you look more Asian, you identify with being Asian, if you look whiter, you tend to think more white. I would suggest the red queen theory
Angie: go on..
Akiko: The red queen theory is used to explain things like why there are two sexes. That to stay ahead of bacteria and viruses that mutate and reproduce much faster, our species had to find a way to recombine our DNA to act as a wall, much like what your firewall does for your computer the further distinct the genetics
Angie: in your scenario, who is the bacteria?
Akiko: No, I’m talking about actual bacteria. Mulitracials have better genetic protection from disease. There is an evolutionary value in mixing [races]. On the flipside it is very difficult for multiracialsto find a bone marrow donor.
Akiko: I have been working on what to call the next generation will be called; I've been calling them Quapas. Quapas are a quarter Asian and three-quarters other and wonder if they will feel any connection to being Asian.
Angie: you think the trend would be to go Quapas, but not the other way 3/4 Asian say?
Akiko: Now that would be awesome. I only think that because all the ladies in Hapa Kitchen have white boyfriends.
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